We continue to publish the article" For Gentlemen" for our client.
Then I joined shipping industry which made me travel even more to all kinds of countries in the world.
I traveled and worked through more than 50 countries and I made all kinds of friends from different countries. And I learned their family cultures and varieties of emotional expressions.
So today I want to explore you fine gentlemen to world of Options than how to obtain lady's heart.
I call it today's Article as " Catch and Release."
It is rather fishing term than metamorphosis. But let's dive into this topic.
1st advice today is " detach yourself from your own attachment!"
I will be honest with you, I believe I was one of the most stubborn and very deep down principle man all my life. And it was good in some parts of my life as such as discipline and work hard in school and work. But it was good only up to certain point. And it was horrible character of myself in developing Romantic Relationships. I will explain this with my own experience.
So when I was young, until about 5 years ago, I was attached to Asian Ladies only.
I thought I was destined to marry Asian lady, my passion and heart were only programmed to react only toward to Asian girls. And most of my relationship with Asians never really worked out positively. And I realized I have been rejecting all the rest of girls from other continents with automatic rejection.
I will give you an example.
I was 13 years old in Junior high school in American Academy in Saudi Arabia.
We had mixed groups from 130 different nationalities. In my English class, there were mostly Asian and European students, and there was this girl named Francesca from Italia. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was extremely friendly girl. I can see that she wanted to get closer to me. I had no idea why, but she would always walk with me and reach out to seat with me. And always wanted put her hands on my desk. And she was from Italy, very matured with developed body and I was 13 years old. In my family, having a relationship with girl at age 13 was treated like unforgivable sin. She was so kind and friendly. But I will always walk away when she seat next to me or walk with me... You could say i was too naive or innocent. But I was dumb too. And she went out with guy from Greece next year.
When I was freshman in University of Philadelphia, a tall blonde blue eyed girl from central Pennsylvania state, German descent, named Carolina. Again she asked me to take her to dinner on Valentine's day and I had no clue she was sending me a signal. And I let her go again.
My grad school in DC, again there was a girl from Kiev, probably most attractive girl I ever met in my entire life. Anastasia, who just finished her Uni degree from China, spoke mandarin like Chinese, she came to my desk and she actually told me she was interested with profile as such as Martial Art and Spiritual experience in religions, and I just treated her as friend. She actually followed me almost every where and even talked about how much she wanted get married and willing to go to any where. She didn't have blonde hair but brown hair, had blue eyes. No matter how hard these European ladies tried hard to reach me, I was so dull to react and had to let go with these potentially greatest romantic affairs of my life. And I realized 5-6 years ago..it was pre-programmed thought patterns. From my upbringing or nationalism or just simply brainwashed by culture of prejudice. I wasn't completely free from my own attachment.
And I realized why I had such bad result with Asian ladies in past. Because my mind and values were very different from most of Asian culture. Asian history for past 100 years was colonization from West and Japan. Peace was not there, constant wars and invasions from others and starvation were story of Asian life.
Recently, within 30 years, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and even China became part of OECD members and became richer than before. Most of Asian Value system developed around materialistic wealth. Planning and accomplish and get richer has become center of their core value.
My value in my life was very different. I need job and home and money to have secure and stable life but being wealthy was not mandatory. I've seen many rich people live their life miserably without happiness. They sacrifice their human values and ethics and time and youth to accumulate their wealth which they won't even have a time to spend.
I really think many of shopping addiction comes from the emptiness in their real human life. No wonder I could never find my soul mate there. The Value was very different from my ideal value.
My Real Point is there are things we can't buy with money, as such as Loyalty, Faithfulness and True Love and Friendship and family.
Especially Love is not love any more when you buy it with money or gold.
So Gentlemen...my very 1st advice to you before you go out there and choose the lady of your love life. Or before you actually fall in love,,,, try to detach from your own attachment.
Many guys, I used to be like this too. We have very strong stubborn nature. We have ideal image of perfect lady in our head. Mona Liza, perfect artistic lady's image. Or kinds of girls and colors of hairs or eyes and shape of body. Yes we shall have some standards and certain limit and certain types we need. But most important step before you make a choice is not to limit your choices to your own types.
At the end of the day in your long marriage life, you will need some one who you can spend thousands of days and millions of minutes. Detachment !!! Open your eyes and heart for many types of girls. I made these mistakes all my life. I realized deeply after meeting many girls....what really makes difference is the attitude and personality and communication style of lady. You might envisioned to have blonde hair and blue eyed tall lady, but your soul mate might have brown hair with gray eyes or maybe shorter or slimmer ..who knows. Observe the interaction of your heart and energy between lady.
And this advice is applied to nationalities of lady as well. You might not find your soul mate from Ukraine. And there are many other countries with fine ladies in other worlds as well. So be free from your attachment. When you have this kind of attitude then you will feel more natural and less pressured during meetings of ladies in Ukraine. You must keep lots of rooms and options in your mind and heart to be not attached to ladies you meet. If you let your emotion and passion too heavily attached to one or two ladies you meet then chances are you might be too nervous or try to impress too much or pressure from limited time and money you are spending in Ukraine and you might not even be able to perform so well. You got to be remain calm and cool inside of your soul and emotion to make sound judgement. Meet many ladies as you can before you make decision to go after, you need comparable ones to realize she is the one.
Second advice, catch her heart by all means. But most important part of your relationship is communication. We men are very weak in front of beautiful sexy ladies. One of my buddy from DC did 3 days fasting prayer before he met his love of his life. He wanted to make sure that he is not attached to his physical instinct or sexual urge or lust. If you can't do fasting for 3 days then do at least 24 hours of fasting. Our body cleansed up in 72 hours by not eating, just drinking water. 24 hours is better than nothing. In this way you will reduce the chance to make a decision based on your human natural lust. In order for men to concentrate on spirit and soul to see the ladies internal soul, we need to decrease our dependency on physical strength.
Release yourself, and invite her spirit and soul and her energy into your heart. And feel her internal energy and spirit. Does she move your heart by what? Words don't mean anything if she doesn't put into action. How are you attracted to her? Which part of your body and soul is attracted to her? What do you feel? Do you feel calm ? Excitement? Sexually attracted to her? Logical? You have to observe your own reactions during meeting ladies. It is important that you know which part of yourself is reacting to her which qualities. Use instinct, logic, emotion and spiritual sense, everything you got.
Remember every meeting is your own test and if you didn't find your soulmate after meeting 100 girls, then you realized 100 types of girls you don't need in your future life.
but let's hope you don't need to meet 100 girls to find one girl. But I know a guy in Atlanta, dated 200 girls to meet his current wife and she is amazing, two sons and passed bar exam and now she is lawyer and makes more money than him and he is very happy that he dated 200 girls before he met his wife. Plus his wife was virgin.
So these things happen..miracle of love. The key is Catch and Release!
3rd advice...travel to other countries to compare !
I advise you to travel to other countries and date various kinds of ladies.
And why not, expand your horizons and increase your chances! Life is adventure and so is Love!
*Brazil: I strongly recommend you to visit Brazil to see if you can find your true love's soul mate. I spent some time in Brazil and even learned to speak little bit of Portuguese and I fell in love with Brazilian culture. The government is corrupted as Ukraine or more probably but great food and wonderful climate. I originally wanted to try to date local Brazilian girls but when I was visiting my emotion was in lowest point of my life and going after romantic relationship was last thing in my mind. However, their positive attitude and emotion are going to attract your heart and mind. And Brazilian ladies don't mind age gap as well. Now but I recommend Brazilian girls in south of Brazil. Not in North or Northeast. Let me explain to you a bit about Brazilian regional differences.
So center of Brazil is Brasilia, but culturally Sao Paulo is central city and it is business city. So consider any regions which are south of Sao Paulo is South of Brazil. This make Rio De Janeiro as northern part from Sao Paulo.
Brazil has over 250 million people and regional difference is huge.
South of Sao Paolo, as such as Curitiba, Floripa, Rio Grande Sul are very developed and rich region. Most of immigrants are from Germany, Italy and Japan. All of these three ethnic groups are hard work ethics. Most of girls in South of Brazil have university or master degrees. And very very family oriented. I've met many ladies in property business, library and government and they all had higher educations. And they are willing to sacrifice their jobs for their family interest. And also south of Brazil has most beautiful girls in Brazil. Mixture between Germans and Italians then a bit of Japanese and Portuguese make them extremely beautiful. In fashion world, Ukrainian and Russian ladies are the most successful groups and second largest groups who are successful in fashion model are Brazilians. Have you seen Victoria's secret shows? Top ones are all from South of Brazil or Ukraine. And divorce rate of Brazil is around 30% while Ukraine and Russia has nearly 70% divorce rate which is higher than USA.
I have at least 2 American friends who married to Brazilian ladies. They got two to three kids and have very stable marriage.
Plus you need to really observe emotional characters of Ukrainian ladies. Emotional personalities of Ukraine are very extreme, more dramatic than Italians and Moldova ladies. And Brazilian girls also have lot of passion but they also have lots of patience.
Ukrainian girls will express their sadness and also embrace their tragic moments and swallow and never allow themselves to loose their pride. Brazilians perceive sadness in completely different way. Brazilians would cry over the horrible sad event but they don't hold on to past. Move forward with positive vision and enjoying every moments of life..and groups and communities and friends are there to support you emotionally and spiritually to over come your tragedy. It is unique part of Brazilian culture. You are never alone. I have a friend from Portugal in East part of Ukraine. After he married to Ukrainian lady then he moved to Ukraine, and he had cultural shock. Family culture of Ukraine and Brazil were very similar according to his experience. However, social culture was very different. Supporting and helping people on the street is very core natural behavior of Brazilian and Portuguese culture even in poorest city of Brazil. My Portuguese friend tried to help drunken beggar who was sleeping dying on the street and later on this beggar died before hospital car arrived. And then he was asked my local police officer if he was involved with death of beggar.
So if you are coming from strong community cultural background as such as Southern Europe or Scandinavian background, you might really get along with Brazilian ladies.
Now before I say good bye to all of you...
Final advice for your mind attitude on dating Ladies in Ukraine or any where else ... is
Always have a mind of Catch and Release, to have attitude of this way will make you more relax and leveraged. Yes we are all here to find our true love but finding our true love is different from business project or keep the schedule of delivery of cars to our clients. We need to learn how to find the right lady and communicate with her and attract her heart to establish relationship but however we shall all have mind of let go as well. It could work out or it might not work out at all. Nothing is certain in Romantic Relationship. It is not a game but it has so many variables . Our goal is not getting married with beautiful Ukrainian woman, but rather to find Right Ukrainian lady to get to know each other and develop the relationship with her and see if she is the One!
We men, once we set the target and goal. We must achieve our goal. And this mentality may lead us to very wrong woman or horrible marriage. Marriage is last part of our goal.
Just like any relationship, we need to find a Right One first then slowly develop the relationship. Respect the process and Learn from errors in the process.
I truly wish all the success in your love life and your other parts of life as well.
Have fantastic Weekend Gentlemen in Journey of Love!
from Kiev with Love